September always has me thinking about changes and transitions as I see children heading back to school.  This year with the changing pandemic landscape, the nature of transitions seems even more poignant.

I am a person who needs quite a bit of time to adjust to transitions.  Whether a change is good or bad, expected or sudden, wanted or unwanted, I know that I need to allow myself time, space, and purposeful attention as things unfold.  

This is a common theme among clients and friends.  Although many changes in life result in new hope and contentment, most of us still benefit from intentionally acknowledging that a transition is underway and giving ourselves some kindness as we adapt and grow.  For changes that are unwelcome, it is even more important to bring compassion and awareness to the experiences.  

With any change, there is an element of loss that may need to be grieved.  Some examples of the types of loss we can experience include the loss of familiar routines, the loss of physical abilities, the loss of an imagined future, the loss of certainty, the loss of a loved one, the loss of power, or the loss of comfort.  The act of naming a loss can help us to acknowledge it and accept it as we move into our new reality.  

That new reality may also come with some fear and anxiety.  Perhaps a new job opportunity is exciting and also represents a big increase in your responsibilities.  Or it could be that a new relationship highlights the vulnerability of intimacy.  Or maybe a new diagnosis means an uncertain future.   Reacting with fear or anxiety is normal in all these cases and we can do our best to allow them to be there as we move forward.  

In the midst of the emotional intensity of transitions, it is useful to check in with what matters to you.  If this is a change you made on purpse, you can reflect on why you made this choice and how it represents what is important and how you want to show up in your life.  If this is an unexpected or unwanted change, you can allow yourself to grieve while also recalling how your values can guide you in the midst of this difficult time.  

It is helpful to be consistent in caring for yourself during any transitional time.  The more you can create predictable structure and support in areas that haven’t changed, the more you will have capacity to take on the challenges of what is changing.