While it is important to regularly engage in self-care practices that nurture you, sometimes we all desire a quick fix. Whether you are stuck waiting in a doctor’s office, dealing with a cranky co-worker or attempting to cope with an acute bout of pain, it is natural that you seek relief from distress.
Try one of these quick activities the next time that you find yourself in need of instant support and care. They are simple practices that can help you to ground yourself and find calm in the midst of a stressful experience.
- Take three deep mindful breaths. There is a reason this one shows up on so many lists of calming and relaxing activities. It works. It can be done without exiting the situation and without attracting attention to yourself. If you catch yourself caught up in emotion, that is the moment to simply tune in to the next three breaths you take. You can quietly notice the breath in your body and notice how this helps to activate a self-soothing response.
- Imagine the presence of a loved one. It can be calming to have the supportive and caring presence of someone you love when you are in the middle of a difficult situation. First, it helps us to feel a positive connection. Second, it reminds us to act as we would want this esteemed person to see us (this can be useful when we are getting hooked by anger or irritation). You may picture a dear friend, a precious child, a respected leader or even a beloved pet. Imagine that person (or animal) at your side and blanketing you with unconditional love and acceptance.
- Move your body. Depending on the circumstance (and the intensity of emotion), you can choose different levels of movement. You may not have the chance to head off on a long run, but even changing your posture or the expression on your face helps you to reconnect to your “wise” self and disengage from the sticky negative emotions. Our bodies have recurrent patterns of holding stress and we are often not aware of them in the heat of a moment. By consciously engaging in a different movement or action (even a small one) we begin to release those learned habits and open ourselves up to relief.
Each of these practices takes time to learn and remember to use. Initially you may find yourself remembering these ideas only after the stressful incident has passed. That’s okay. Each time you remember, you will prime your brain to access the exercises intuitively the next time a challenge arises. Over time, you will discover which of the practices work for you and they will become your new, healthy habits.