It’s summer time and for many, that means good times with good friends. The summer months are a common vacation time with much of our conversations revolving around weekends away, road trips or longer sojourns abroad. So what do you do if you find yourself unwell during these times?
It can feel inauthentic to express enthusiastic summer praise when in reality you are struggling; at the same time, you might be reluctant to bluntly confess that you are having a hard time.
Here are some ideas on how you can handle questions such as “How’s your summer going?” and ways you can contribute when others are celebrating their summer plans.
- Be honest. While you may not feel comfortable divulging details of your difficulties, it is perfectly okay to acknowledge that it may not be your ideal summer. A simple statement such as “My health has limited what I had hoped to do” is a valid response. Others may be slightly uncomfortable with this level of honesty and yet it is okay to honour that this is your experience right now. You do no need to feel guilty that you are not feeling at your prime. After all, you don’t want it to be true either! However, if you go this route, do be prepared that you might get questions about what is happening for
- Divert the conversation. If you do not feel comfortable sharing your current situation, another option is to shift the focus off of you. This can usually be accomplished with an open ended question to your conversation partner about their plans such as “I heard you are heading out camping… tell me more.”
- Combine the above options. I confess this is one of my favourite tactics. This method allows you to honour your journey while allowing the conversation to shift away from areas you would prefer to keep private. An example of this? “Actually it’s been a tough month for me so I’d love to hear some good news. Tell me about your spa weekend – that sounds amazing!”
- Celebrate small things. Sometimes it feels as if you need to have a plan that big and exciting. However, there’s no need to be extravagant. Pay attention to the little joys in your life and share them openly. You may be pleasantly surprised to find that your friends and family are as happy to hear about the new book you found online as they are to hear about a European cruise.
- Focus on a longer term goal. It might be that you are experiencing a low point right now but that you have something on the horizon to anticipate. If so, it can be an affirming step to share that information with others in your life. For example, “I’ve had a lot of pain today, so it’s great that I can think about my sister’s visit in the fall”.
It’s okay to be truthful about your situation and to ask for support if you need it. It’s also okay to celebrate with your loved ones and appreciate the joy in their lives. Over and over, keep engaging with compassion, both for yourself and for those you care about.
