No matter what your journey, there will be times when you feel as if you have stepped backward when you want to be moving forward. This could be a day when you do not feel that you manage your energy as well as you had hoped. Or it might be a bout of worry and fear while you are engaging in practices to overcome an anxiety disorder or panic disorder.
This is completely normal. When you are actively working to create change in your life, there will naturally be moments when you fall back into old patterns despite your best efforts to implement new ways of being. It might be just a momentary habitual response or it could happen if a new stressor emerges that pushes the boundaries of your new coping skills.
When the setback does happen, here are some ideas on how to get back on track:
- Acknowledge the experience. You can not fix what you deny. The first step in resuming your new path is to admit that your recent action or response was not in line with your new goal. This absolutely must be done with kindness and compassion toward yourself. It is okay to acknowledge that you reverted back to old patterns and that such setbacks are normal. A stumble does not mean you will fall.
- Remember your successes. Although you are struggling in this moment, you have also succeeded at initiating change already. This is a time to remember and celebrate those accomplishments. Your mind might try to over-extend this slip and tell you that there is no point in continuing; that is because the mind likes what is familiar. However, the progress you have made, no matter how small, is proof that you are already on the path of positive change.
- Recall your goal. You decided to make a change or learn new skills because you wanted something to be different in your life. Now that you have kindly acknowledged your slip, it is a good time to remember why you wanted this growth experience in the first place. Recalling the long term outcome will motivate you to rally your resources and try again.
- Reflect on the circumstances. A setback is a source of invaluable information. Use this as a learning opportunity. You now have a chance to explore what kind of situation is triggering and makes it difficult for you to implement the changes you want in your life. Take some time to non-judgmentally reflect and journal about the context that surrounded your setback.
- Make a plan for next time. Once you are aware of the set of circumstances that were difficult for you, spend some time planning how to manage similar challenges in the future. The recency of the setback makes it the ideal time to troubleshoot around how you can support yourself to make a different choice in the future. You can build resources and structure that will help you to engage in healthy coping the next time around.
Setbacks are a NORMAL part of the change process; there is no need for shame or feelings of failure. Over time, as your new habits and ways of being become more integrated, you will experience fewer setbacks and more period of stable successes.