This message is one we all need to hear.  It is easy to attach our self view to the opinions of other people.  When those people de-value us, our sense of a worthy self suffers.  Unfortunately, others can make assumptions and judgements based on the health concerns we face.

It’s a theme I see repeatedly with the clients I see.  There is a deep pain when the distress of coping with your medical issues is compounded by other people’s lack of understanding.   These judgements may be unintentional and subtle but the effects remain.  Maybe it’s when a coworker asks why you were off “again”, or when a family member questions your choice of a treatment option or when a friend tells you about the dietary cure for what ails you.

In these moments, it is essential to have compassion for yourself.  You did not choose to have an illness and, unless you want to, you are not required to explain yourself to other people.  Often the simple act of silently acknowledging “this hurts” allows you to breathe some space around the hurt.  There is power in being present with your emotional response without trying to push it away.

It is helpful to recognize that the state of your body is not a reflection of your worth.  It can be hard to remember in a youth-focused society, it is absolutely true that you are more than the vessel that holds all that is you.  Although you don’t need to become an inspirational leader yourself, sometimes it is easier to recognize the separation of personal value from one’s body in people who have risen to notoriety such as Stephen Hawking, Marlee Matlin and Stevie Wonder.  

Regardless of how others treat you, there are aspects of yourself that persist no matter what your physical state.  Perhaps it is your kindness, your humour or your sense of style.  These qualities manifest despite your health limitations and can be ways to reconnect with yourself when you feel lost and unworthy.

It’s challenging and still necessary to keep coming back to who you know you are when others try to undermine you.  Others may not understand and that’s okay.  The important thing is that YOU see all the ways you remain worthy.