We all wear many different hats in the various parts of our lives. The person you are at work is slightly different than the one you are with your children and they are both different than who you are when you are at the doctor’s office. This is normal and adaptive. Life’s many contexts require us to share aspects of our personality with discretion.
From time to time, though, you may start to ask the question “who am I really?”. This might occur after a particularly jarring or traumatic experience or it might occur when you find yourself having done something out of line with your values. It might happen when you have witnessed great beauty or it might come after moments of quiet reflection and inward exploration. I find it often coincides with both a new health diagnosis or when burnout is setting in for those with chronic conditions. In either case, you can start to feel more like your illness than the person you used to know.
There is value in getting to know the nuances of your “self” and recognizing how these aspects integrate to create a whole and unique being. This familiarity can solidify your sense of being a continuous and whole being with resilience and the ability to cope with life’s changes.
Here are some prompts you might use in getting to know yourself:
- I am…
- I like…
- I fear…
- I wonder about….
- I wish that I….
- I enjoy my…
- When I am alone, I like to…
- When I am with friends, I am…
- When I am with family, I am…
- When I am with strangers, I am….
- I appreciate…
- I value….
- I hope to…
- I get angry when…
- I get excited when…
- I get quiet when…
- I worry about…
- I admire….
- I have always dreamed of….
- I am proud that I….
- I am sad about…
- I feel content when…
- I wish I could…
- I believe….
Take some time alone and write out your answers – go slow and fully explore the stems that call to you. This exercise can be powerful method to reconnect with yourself and recognize with the multitude of facets within you that go beyond any one label.